Quentin Greif, 2017 Lambda Literary Fellow

Quentin Greif, 2017 Lambda Literary Fellow



[Applause] so special being here involving the speed it's really been an honor I wouldn't read from a larger project I've been working on that I'm tentatively calling Canyon Texas and I really think you need to know much except for I'm going to read from the perspective of a character I call a mother right now and then from the perspective of first time my love letter my son my heart Oscar gross the first morning cabinet and understanding this crib my love just figured out how to pull himself up and his chubby fingers clumsy as her too bad I entered the room after hearing the strange screams but stopped in the doorway to watch now he didn't notice me immediately and he let on the great cop into the chilly morning air I remember the curtains were thought fluttering I leave the window slightly cracked because he because he runs warm he talks to pros and right now it's in the doorway watching the lap that of his great bird cause he swooped close to his screens in the background there's not quite enough room on the ledge for them to perch I curl my fingers Tiger about the handle of a coffee mug my hand shakes I take a sip of decaffeinated coffee he turns around scares me he recognizes me come here Milo I say my arms outstretched and pick him up I hold him close to my body feels small fierce wife that he expels he smells clean I am doing a good job I invited my pregnant I love this new trial but I guess I'll tread last month s ecology with my love you will not quite reach two years but this time together the spell passed before him there is loneliness after him there was a constant I feel already even at 28 that I've missed his time for the rest of my life we leave the house as me blocked my list stares silently at his surroundings in his stroller the serious perónist growl he caused and pause every time he sees a bird and the low loony clouds I've only seen crows great big black things moving in and out of the sky the city seems to you on that morning reading as this morning reading a scent a great information astounded energy we're supposed to do the shopping but everybody – I won't be doing any shopping anymore I think it to a small big part seems to be done to you we lay in the grass over the morning sky for the first time I feel the new being kicked – sighs I placed the reassuring hand ever met Holly Maya doesn't seem too nervous just that approach to serve had an idol because alert excitement and because this walk is not easy Canada crowd eg much for the sky I stare at his little by his garbage and it's strange all his power to reach the bird I noticed something in his face my 22 years later five hours rush by the speed is wearing off but I might have only take me so far I have no idea a stop as the middle of the day the sky has behaved everything esteem and magic how hot I think of getting us apart kissing that palm on the ground pull they're putting a blister and burn this off your gas inside the bright fluorescent lights beat down on my hominid probably had by a giant bottle of water and hostages back in the car and drive around behind the gas station of all the small training I spoken up it took all night at town a drink from the water bottle and Donna Hannibal Jesus the trees and Arnold he crushed Texas trees black birds prosaic us to their very animals all throughout town I rest America president funerals they got their faces in speech at the top of their lives so much around eyes people know this because they have taste baked dead crows in the middle of places where they accommodate watch them do it they the people I'll tell this cacophonous our nation I also have a little girl named that is that people are from working for small presents like paying pennies and rec pieces of strings while she stared up in and out my mother once told me a story that when I was little she heard me making a sound that a terrify her because she got to Mary when she saw there's how to make it fly afterwards outside came into hell he spoke very graceful human she used to tell me nothing [Applause] I have an ally to interview management plan development [Applause] so I'm gonna be reading something about it's been really just absolutely wonderful to be here with all of you this week he's reading something so inspiring and really wonderful with such beautiful and inspiring layers this is you don't really need a lot of context I don't think this is just the first few pages of the know that's been working on it's a fairy tale it has to do with shape-shifting teenagers and whereas I still do the wings at night in that space between waking and sleep anywhere for a moment they have no shape at all and in Beulah there are all of our strength the rivers the lakes the rustle of feathers in here most nights they leave me and I startled that kids make human lives solid in earthbound asleep was 16-year old girl and a house of lost children all wearing the same brand of discount PJs their Sundays here in pewter down the stairs the alleged dreams and a cement block you can't imagine what is not really not unless you've done it not unless you've felt the living through your feathers the power of things to steer you through currents the heavy weights that linger the kids in this house we will normal but we learned we're lost in found things past memories of parents and homes and cradles and toys once upon a time before the race began the ones of water or air or woods those knowing that feel like dreams shot through the deepest was taking up longing they call us stole my children were primitive hurst/olds that only man remembers how they get the first place we were taken less but in this house we've seen returned we seen adjusted and happy and so close to normal we almost believe it ourselves you go to school if everyone else in our town we plan sports teams join clubs playing college applications and it's only sometimes that we stay on the water in the pool for a moment too long like Hazelton wondering and holding our breath we'll bring back our lost girls only sometimes that we find ourselves that I belong all right at the moon lake to feeling the night on our faces and knowing that every year only half here have real have children there's only on some eggs a dream my wings and they perched on the other than their self ready to fly this is one of those things I went to moonlight to this year alone an error on my face and for a second I think return back I feel my Raven body a shark eats and talons my lightnings I feel my old coordinate line urging the arm to escape then I raised my wings the arms I remember mayoralty my human skin when weak paralyzed and my person braincase tend to remind me of groggy I step off the biggest villain that came to my bedroom sugaring who hold October lemon it used to be that on these nights acute down to ableton I said in German and he whispered all the times but abiding through water and flying through air as paint those relying on currents and instinct no or when she woke up giving breathless as if she were drowning in air she lived up to my attic we talked all night sometimes we both think the third hand on my shoulder and my arms wrapped around her tonight I don't know what to do

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *