When searching for the lost remember 8 things.
1. We are vessels. We are rooms. We are so much less important than the things inside
of us. We are circuit boards, swallowing the electricity of life upon birth.
It wheels through us all of our days. Creates every moment,
the pulse of a story, the soft hums of labor and love.
In our last moment it will come rushing from our chests and be given back to the wind.
When we die, we go everywhere. 2.
Newton said energy is neither created nor destroyed.
In the hallways of my old middle school I can still hear
my friend Stephen singing his favorite song. In the gymnasium I can hear
the way he dribbled that basketball like it was a mallet
and the earth was a xylophone. With an ear to the Atlantic, I can still hear
the Titanic’s band playing her to sleep, Music. Wind. Music. Wind.
If you listen to the wind and you don’t hear at least a thousand years of music then
you’re not listening hard enough. 3.
The day my grandfather passed away there was the strongest wind,
I could feel his gentle hands blowing away from me.
I knew then they were off to find someone who needed them more than I did.
On average 1.8 people on earth die every second. There is always a gust of wind somewhere.
4. The day Stephen was murdered
everything that made us love him rushed from his knife wounds
as though his chest were an auditorium his life an audience leaving in single file wandering
the earth for days and nights. Every ounce of him has been
wrapping itself around this world in a windstorm I have been looking for him for 9 years. 5. Our bodies are nothing more than hosts to
a collection of brilliant things. When someone dies I do not weep over their
polaroids or belongings, I begin to look for the life that has left
them, I feel out the strongest breeze and take off
After 9 years I found Stephen. I passed a basketball court in Boston
the point guard dribbled like he had a stadium roaring through his palms
Wilt Wilt Wilt Chamberlain pumping through his feet,
his hands flashing like x-rays, a cross-over, a cross-over wrap-around
rewinding, turn-tables cracking open, camera men turn flash bulbs to fireworks.
Seven games and he never missed a shot, his hands were luminous.
Pulsing. Pulsing. When I asked him how long he’d been playing,
he said nine 9 years 7.
The theory of six degrees of separation was never meant to see how many people we
can find, it was a set of directions for how to find
the people we have lost. I found your voice Stephen,
found it in a young boy in Michigan who was always singing,
his lungs flapping like sails I found your smile in Australia,
a young girls teeth shining like the opera house in your neck,
I found your one true love come to life on the asphalt of Boston.
8. We are not created or destroyed,
we are constantly transferred, shifted and renewed.
Everything we are is given to us. Death does not come when a body is too exhausted
to live Death comes, because the brilliance inside
of us can only be contained for so long. We do not die. We pass on, pass on the life
burning through our throats. When you leave me, I will not cry for you
I will run through the strongest wind I can find
and welcome you home.