MANIAC CIRCUS – Pilot Episode!

MANIAC CIRCUS – Pilot Episode!


(Screams.) (still screaming.) Who dares turn me err…CRANK with no ticket!? ugh…uhh… Dammit… Did you even read the sign!? Well?? (i can’t see it…) READ IT!!!! No ticket…no entry… That’s right… No ticket… (hysterical screaming) NO ENTRY!!!! Please listen… uh…this frog ate my ticket! And this goblin was flying through the sky- and BOOM! and then he crashed into the sign And his bones were going everywhere! I thought he was dead for sure but- But then he started screaming and I was like OH BRAAAANG! errrrr…Wait a sec! Is that you Gob? Uh… uh yea… its me… ughrl!!! Ughh… Spit that out. Uhh…sorry about that… err…lets not say anything to the big guy huh? heh. Im kind of in the d-doghouse after I- chucked this handicapped…er-blind customer- over the wall last week… Well… tech-technically he didnt go blind till after he caught fire and uh… his crutches caught the brunt of the fall mind you… you know these kids- they bounce right back heh… There you go hehe… Good as new… Ready to face–continue on your… err…your adventure whatever. oh. If you tell anyone about this Ill pop you heart like a pimple… ON MY ASS!! (the screams of a burning man) Welcome to the Stab Simulator 3000 Please insert one skull token… LAME!! Thank you for choosing the Stab Simulator 3000 yeesh… With the rain falling all torrential-like All while the ship near keeleth over… And I says to him: Tis I! The one what put the scurvy up your mothers meatflaps! Bahahahaahah! ughh… uhhuh..ahahaha! I cant believe it! heh Im finally next! this is the best… The best day of my— Li—ugh— ohhugh! OHGH! YAUGHHL! ughhl! eheheh… uh… I… I-I was just wondering… wh-where is the uh- music place? AGH! Wha!? What the hell was that for!? agh.. huh? Oh hey! bahuh! There you are Gob! AHH! We thought you were a goner for sure! After the lightning bolt strike and all… bahuhuh… uhhhh… come on! Everybody’s waiting at the big top! bahuhuh! Well I’m just headed over to that music thing…thing ov— oh thats just the pre-flight jitters talking… bahuh… bahahaha baHAGH!! bu–HAGGHGHH!!! bu-ROAAAARGHHH!!! Oh you cheating rat-snake bastard! Im sorry im sorry im sorry!! huh? AHHHH!! yeesh… Come one, come all! Fat, thin, small, and tall! And open your eyes for sights unseen… And perk up your ears for sounds un-screamed! And prepare to be amazed– Like you never have before!! See the bright lights… displays of might! and… err…Zombie cockfights! Goblins flying! Babies crying! Oh… I-I…think… I think that guys dying… Anyways… we’re all nuts! But we’ve got guts! and most importantly: BUTTS! ehem… OH!! What’s this!? It appears our flying goblin has returned! and not a moment too soon… uh…wait a sec… RAAAAAGHH!! AHHH!!! AGHH! NOW— In the cannon he goes… Will he survive? I dont think so… hahahaahaha! ONE… Just hold on one second… TWO… I can explain! GIMME THAT THING! I’M NOT GOB!!! OH! Well in that case… THREE!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s enough… (quack) oh? You know damn well thats not Gob… yea but… he’s wearing his– Are you blind? Look at him! He’s got three arms! come on! well… can’t I just— uh… No…The doctor wants to see him… NOW. well… I hate that it had to come to this… what the… I find myself… so— comfortable around you… ahhh… oh god im gonna be sick… Do you smell that? that can be all your— Jesus… QUACK! WAKE UP! AGH! Wh–where am I!? Good evening… My name is Dr. Stabkill… and you… are in my circus. NOW. I don’t believe you to be a patron… And I don’t recognize you as part of my staff… So my question is… What are you doing here? ok… uh… my name’s Remmy… and– I was just hoping that– maybe I would be able to join your circus… buhuhuhahaha! run off and join the circus eh? hehe… how cliche… and… what role among us might you expect to fill? well— Well im a pianist! OH? A three armed pianist? Now that is interest– well…I dont really use it… actually… you see— it’s–it’s kind of… uh… kind of hard to control… uh… anyways… I was hoping to join the band… or the music school er— whatever it is. hmm. Duck! yes doctor? Send for Zenophobe! (Quack!) now… Let’s get you something else to wear… hmmm…. ahhh… I believe this should accomodate for that— uhh–auxiliary appendage of yours. WOAH! wicked! uh…thanks! come in! Would a phone call not have sufficed? Remmy here…is a pianist who would like to join your music— err…place. right… Take a seat at the keyboard. uh…ok. He says its Gob! They found him and hes in really bad shape! uh… b—bring him to the table! damn…this looks pretty bad. eh…sort that out will you? more! MORE! Your third arm– USE IT!! uh!? I–I’m doing it! WAH! CRAP! Stupid arm! AAAHH!! WHAT IN THE!? I’M ALIVE! AHHH!! well? uhh… wha… Hey wait a sec… I–I thought I did pretty good… what!? you played such rubbish— the piano came alive— and nearly ate us!! well— I don’t know if that was entirely my fault… also… I fail to see the point– in a three armed pianist– that can’t play any better than— one what’s got two arms! wait a sec! I… Is that all Stabkill? hmm. Yes I suppose so… wait! H–hey! I–I’ll do anything! I–I’m truly sorry Remmy– I am…but– that’s Zeno’s department… and– I don’t know a thing about music. b—but… I… I don’t— have…anywhere else to go! ughh… Remmy… This isnt a homeless shelter– I can’t just—be— WHAT!? Where did you get!? oh…nevermind! well. it seems you have some medical experience. w-w-well yea I studied a bit… b-but I dropped out! hmm…I could use an extra hand around here… what? It won’t be easy! and it won’t pay much! but perhaps it will give you another chance to win over zenophobe. R-R-Really? Welcome to the Maniac Circus Remmy. ALRIGHT! uh… What should I do? your first task… clean that up. (gulp.) he’s pretty good no? hmm.

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