Excuse me, can I have the attention of the
class for one second? Hi, my name is (chigga, chigga) Slim Shady. Guess who’s back? It’s
me, Marshal Mathers, Eminem, the real Slim Shady. Get ready to lose yourself in my Draw
My Life. I was born Marshal Bruce Mathers on October 17th, 1972 in St. Joseph, Missouri
but don’t let the name fool you: there wasn’t anything regal about my upbringing. My mom met my dad when she was just fourteen
and she had me a couple years later. She nearly died during the 73 hours of labour just giving
birth to me. I guess Dad got tired of waiting ‘cause he took off. I spent my childhood
moving around between Missouri and Michigan, not staying long in any one place before eventually
settling into a black neighbourhood called Warren in Michigan. I was bullied so bad,
I once got beaten into a coma. As a kid, I wanted to be a comic book artist
but when I was fourteen, I discovered rap and that comic book nerds don’t get girls.
As you can see, my drawings are pretty good though, huh? At first, people thought I was just another
Vanilla Ice (Ice, baby); that’s why I named myself after some chocolate instead! My home life was unstable to say the least.
My mom and me have always had a love-hate relationship; I hate her and she loves to
sue me! She once tried to sue me for ten million dollars because I said she smoked more dope
than I did on one of my records. Teenage dramas are supposed to be a two-way street, Mom!
When I was fifteen, she took in my future wife/ex-wife/wife again/ex-wife Kim and her
twin sister Dawn after they ran away from home. It wasn’t long before me and Kim had
a kid of our own. Come on, what did people think was gonna happen? After spending three years in ninth grade
because of poor grades and not showing up, I dropped out of Lincoln High School aged
seventeen. I was starting to think my own kid would graduate before I did so I took
a job cooking and washing dishes for minimum wage. I worked sixty hours a week to try and
provide for my family and still had time to form my own rap group, D12. I tried to release
my own solo album too, Infinite, but after it bombed and I got fired from my job, I hit
rock bottom and tried to commit suicide. Me, Kim and our daughter Hailie had to move back
in with my mom and her mobile home but this wasn’t a two-week caravan holiday, it was
my God-damn life! I developed the alter ego Slim Shady which
allowed me to express some darker, angry things in my songs and in 1997, I went to the Rap
Olympics in L.A. which is kind of like the actual Olympics except you can’t fail the
drug test! Although I only picked up a silver medal (and half an ounce), I got noticed by
Dr. Dre who took my career off life support and resurrected it (but not with mouth-to-mouth).
Dre helped me produced the Slim Shady LP which went triple platinum as one of the biggest
selling albums of 1999 and put me on the map. My second album, The Marshall Mathers LP,
broke the US record for fastest selling hip hop album, leaving Snoop Dogg in my smoke.
Most of which was his though. I also beat Britney Spears’ Hit Me Baby, One More Time
for the fastest selling solo album; according to society and Lana del Ray, apparently it’s
the only acceptable time to beat a woman. They say I’m a misogynist; bitches be trippin’! I started my own label Shady Records which
launched the career of 50 Cent. I didn’t forget about my boys either; in 2001, D12
released our first album. Its lead track Purple Pills was a massive hit. The ode to recreational
drugs had to be changed for radio play though. Purple Pills became Purple Hills. Bongs became
songs. Getting high as f**k became the chicken girl’s cluck. In the early 2000s, it seemed I’d spawned
an entire generation of Slim Shady’s. Middle class dudes wearing white t-shirts, blue jeans
with their hair dyed blonde. White was the new black but not everybody was a fan. Apparently
I’m homophobic too. The Gay and Lesbian Alliance protested my performance at the Grammy’s
but once they found out Elton John was gonna be singing with me, they calmed down. Me and
Elton are pals; I sent him and David a pair of diamond-studded cock rings for their wedding.
Be sure to lube up, guys! In 2002, I made a move into movies starring
in my own semi-biographical movie named 8 Mile. My song Lose Yourself even won an Oscar
but I didn’t show up to accept the award to thank the Academy. F**k that! I guess that
makes me Oscar the Grouch. It wouldn’t be the last time that I piss some people off. In 2003, the Secret Service confirmed they
were looking into threats I’d made against George W. Bush because of what I said in my
song We As Americans. My political beliefs were the same as they were with those LGBT
protestors: I hate bush. Next on my list of “controversies” was
taking a pop at the squeaky clean, never dubious King of Pop Michael Jackson. I parodied his
plastic surgery, kiddy fiddling allegations and the time he caught on fire in my video
for Just Lose It. Apparently I rubbed him up the wrong way. Like how he rubbed those
kids up the wrong way. He had the last laugh though; Jackson bought the rights to my back
catalogue and was making money off of me until the day he died. Smooth criminal. I’ve had some run-ins with law too. In 2000,
I was arrested for assaulting a bouncer but only because I saw him kissing my wife. Me
and Kim have been on again/off again more than a freshman’s pants during Spring Break.
We’ve been married, divorced, re-married and re-divorced. I just hope the third one’s
free. Even she tried to sue me because of the lyrics in my song Kim. We’ve got three
daughters together. God, I hope they don’t turn out like their mom. Or my mom. I’ve had my troubles with substances too.
In 2007, I had to be rushed to hospital after I got hooked on prescription drugs and overdosed.
The doctor said I had ingested the equivalent of four bags of heroin and was about two hours
away from dying but I’ve got my life back on track and I am phenomenal again. I’ve had seven number one albums, I’ve
got a net worth of 190 million dollars and I’m the first artist since The Beatles to
have four tracks in the Top 20 at the same time. That was my f**king Draw My Life. I
don’t know, it’s just the way I am.