Craziest Client Stories #5 | Tattoo Artists Answer

Craziest Client Stories #5 | Tattoo Artists Answer



whoo how this tattoo experience I can't go on camera with that one man I've spent the last like two years traveling the world and the shit that I've seen and encountered it's so mind-blowing that I'm almost numb to it and I feel like the crazier shit gets the more I think that's normal what I still don't understand is already sleeping with their clients and I've literally been in shelter it's like if the guy who owns the shop if he is like private room doors are closed you know that he's giving a little happy ending to the tattoo and he's a really awkward or like I don't know like I personally don't do it maybe I'm like different but it's kind of common in the industry and it's kind of weirds me out a little bit the wildest tattoo experience probably when I was an apprentice and it was probably my third tattoo and two very large heavyset women came in drunker than hell cuz we worked in downtown San Diego and I actually tattooed paw prints going up there up their legs into their fun zone I mean it's one dude came in I wasn't doing anything I just finished a tattoo he's never had a tattoo before and he wanted like some Spanish word that he didn't even know what the meaning was right on his face and I was like dude I'm not gonna do it he was really just begging me to do it was like dude if you don't do it right now I'm walking out going to the next shop I'm gonna pave didn't do it so I raised the price and he was idea I'm down and just did his first hat on his face with a word that he had no idea what it meant the one I just did at 43,000 miles my frame Bank did a 40,000 to to Justin Bieber and I commend it to my friend who is also a musician maluma we were talking about that it's like oh we should do it I got like a higher one yeah sure and by coincidence we were at a convention in Puerto Rico so we made up one night in Puerto Rico and they said oh we should do it this time going back to Miami select sure let's do it so if it came out really spontaneous and we thought with the pilot we didn't know was just very unexpected I think I thought that was gonna be hard because turbulence but it was not probably wasn't the most steady flight I ever had in my life I think I only did gang tattoos at that time in my life when I was incarcerated hey I just got 300 years like can you tattoo my gang on my forehead before before I catch the chain which means before I leave to go start my 300 years sentence and I'm sitting there sweating bullets making sure I don't you know like fuck some dudes face up this just I ended up going to tattoo a friend of mine in a hotel and she didn't tell me that they were gonna be selling drugs out of this hotel this was 15 years ago or whatever like years and years ago and so I walk in and it's just all like gangsters and and I'm not nodding some not expecting this at all it's like there's like 10 gang like gang bangers just telling me all I'm gonna touch with her face all this stuff I'm saying man until my friend walks in and he a new way everyone and then everything was cool when that was it was scary so one time I accidentally got tattooed while I was tripping on acid and I really did not plan it out that way I did not even planned to do the acid I was like negative one minute I was fine next thing you know I got dosed the three three hits of acid I had no idea I had an awful trip I was like what is going on and then I had a tattoo appointment with this girl on Instagram Rizzy boo and she's from the UK I had already made the appointment or he gave her money so I didn't want to cancel I didn't I couldn't reschedule so I went hang on I got the tattoo and it's in the worst spot – it's like right here I put a hoodie over my head and I was just looking into the darkness I was listening to Animal Collective and just watching shapes and just mean like why am I like this one of the craziest tattoo experiences that I've had in the beginning of my career I actually had a client who was a homeless man and he was like really on the streets with is with is a sleeping bag and everything and when I tell you that you can smell this man coming from down the street to walk in the shop you could smell him before he walked in he gets in the shop we would have to clear out the entire shop because it would just be unfair to the other clients for them to sit in there while that man was in there but we didn't want to turn him away because he used his I don't know I think it was it's like VA check or a Social Security check and he got tattoos now the craziest thing is this man claimed that he was a witch and he had tattoos on him that said that he was a witch he had he had the craziest stuff written on him every time he got tattooed you would get like a devil symbol or a Star of David and then the words like like like witch and stuff like that and then one time actually one of my co-workers he put a curse on one of my co-workers and we think it was real to this day so yeah I tattooed a witch and he stunt that's one of my K this tattoos only weird experiences where I think being an apprentice and working in more um Street shops and stuff and seeing kind of like that late night drunk like come in and oh all the crazy weird drunk shit yeah I remember like as an apprentice coming in the shop there is this drunk woman masturbating yeah yeah and she had her oh my god was it her niece or someone was what yeah it was in front of her niece it was really weird that's yeah and then he considered when she disappeared and the niece was there cuz for like collateral cuz she had to go and page she did a money but so so she had to leave yeah she had to leave to go get money and she didn't come back for a long time and I was a little apprentice kid I felt so bad I'm talking to her yes she probably is in counseling for that proper shirt at this out and probably I am the one I'm gonna tell you is the story of this young woman she decided to come and get a tattoo for me when I was about 15 you know 15 years ago so about two years into my tattoo experience so I wasn't that experienced so my hand control and my whole experience with knowing how to tattoo certain areas was very limited so she wanted me to tattoo a design right above her flower so you know I tried to be gentlemanly about it and but it couldn't avoid what I wear I had to put my hands because the tattoo was like a flower like tribal pattern like literally right up above her flowers so I was delicately put my hands around and kept saying pardon me excuse me I'm sorry she's not no problem no problem no problem and you know I'm doing some heavy shading you know it's a big heavy coil machine it's vibrating like crazy and she's kind of getting into it like where she's like she's moaning and making these weird sounds and I'm oh my god am i hurting this girl and it must be really painful and I'm feeling really bad I'm sorry I'm so sorry from her it's okay just keep going and I keep going and I'm and I'm working it I'm like I'm almost done she said no it's okay just keep going I'm like I'm going and I'm just making these sounds and she's whispering to her friend and it's just keeps getting louder louder yeah I'm like man I am killing you I'm so sorry and so I turn around to get to my my inks and my setup and get some paper towels and lightly hear her whispering to her friend she's like I just had two orgasms and I'm like did I just hear you right I was like we stopped you didn't are you being serious vanish girls I'm sorry yeah I just had two orgasms and I'm like wow but you know I did the tattoo finished it up I said I was sorry for having to put my hands in near the area at all and she's like you know um it's okay it was a good for me was it good for you I couldn't figure out who was tipping who at that moment I was 19 or 20 I had been tattooing probably like a couple of years and I was traveling Middle East you know and I was in Sinai the border between Israel and and Egypt in the desert in a Bedouin village with population under a thousand people no cars just camels everybody lived in this it was like over the Red Sea and there was these guys Egyptian guys but some of them had big tattoos and they're like oh they live in Italy they lived in like are they they want tattoos and they they were like come come to my place I'm with video and they they fed me all day they got me high we were best friends and I talked to them and there was like six of them and it was me and my friend and they were like you know you can they were sketchy dudes but whatever you know like I'm Colombian whatever and when it finishes the guy is like gives me like the equivalent to like a dollar and I'm like dude this is not what I told you he's like that's all I got and if you got a problem six of us and I remember my pride my everything I just wanted to kill him and I wish I was fucking jean-claude Van Damme or one of those guys but I was not these guys were way bigger than me way all their they had way more Street than I did and I just look outside and I just see all these little lights and 200 people which are related to them not me and I remember I was just like fuck man and the worst thing is I had to see them for the next week that I stay there and pretend that we were cool you know because what was I gonna do this girl came in want to get her fingers tattooed and she didn't it you know it's like all our fingers I was the kind of thing okay well whatever here you know the girls are wait up for the guys in tattoos like they've got that pain threshold you know so I'm like cool we'll get all your here's that and we've got like three of them I started looking pale and I was like oh shit you all right and then she kind of like one like this I through the machine I kind of caught her head and I was holding her up and I just heared like like like like it looks like somebody's pouring water in the sink Shh and I look and she's peeing but she's wearing like short shorts right so it just like Niagara Falls and I'm 100 and my buddy was tattooed right there it goes dude and I was like oh it's you still I'll just go I guess letting one guy like I'm talking like she was hydrated I'm not saying like she's peed a little like I'm saying like she was ready to run the LA Marathon and she didn't want to fucking die so she kind of comes to and I'm like standing it like like Shrek my area it was a lot of piss and and I'm kind of standing in it now and I'm kind of already burned out about that and I go hey uh she's like kind of coming to I said hey when you're ready you might you know you might want to go use the restroom she goes well why I didn't want her to like freak out and go out again I said well and she goes and she she was did I pee I go yeah a little bitches are freaking out again after she kind of like goes to the bathroom and comes back there's literally like an inch of piss like in my area and she goes okay I said so we're gonna be done at issues you're not gonna do the rest of them eight-six boom Booya you pay me for half it's either between me helping my mentor tattoo a porn stars butthole and like things coming out of it and that's kind of tied with this couple that came in and they got tattooed by me and they switched and the girlfriend went in and od'd in the bathroom that was on the Venice Boardwalk that was super interesting and obviously I didn't get paid basically a girl came in a fine young woman came in with a profession of porn and she was an anal star and she wanted the world to know that no matter what so she wanted the star around her butthole so we had to like soup up in the full plastic sleeves face mass whole nine yards and I was unfortunately the spreader and holder and he was going in and I saw colors and fluids and things and pulsating and it looked more like a month oh that's worse than anything we've ever done this show first of all so you could have even started there the smell alone yeah there's there's secretions and things that come out when the needle hits that our normal client in San Diego he's pretty well-known in San Diego area he lives there he's in his 80s and we call him Wild Bill and he basically goes around to all the tattoo shops in San Diego it's kind of a staple of being a tattoo artist there is to tattoo this guy and the very first shop I worked out in in San Diego was just fresh out of my apprenticeship I had done maybe 20 tattoos before and this guy walks in and he just gets butt ass naked to get a tattoo this big like on his leg super unnecessary but he always gets completely naked to get a tattoo he his ideas are always very random he pretty much just collects like singular tattoos around his body so he at the time had like over 300 tattoos that were just individual countable tattoos and he wanted a Casper the Friendly Ghost like flash that was on the wall but he was like I want to do something different I was like okay how do you make that difference it's Casper the ghost it looks one way he was like I want him to have a dick and just what made it worse was all my co-workers who were you know way older than me been tattooing way longer are just videotaping the entire thing taking pictures making me feel super awkward and to this day hold it against me and won't give me the footage my wife tattooed me and she tattooed our gender-reveal it's on my I'm here I just went to the gym I'm this morning and I did like a lot of bicep curls arms a bit pump today she did this Gina review originally we had the whole balloon thing we had the convenience side of the color of the gin of the the six oh my my brother his son was playing with our balloon it dinner and then he kind of just he was fucking around with it and then he lit I sure can I swear I should fuck it so he let it go and then the balloon just went into the the air and yeah that kind of ruined the whole surprising he so me and my wife the next next day we went into this tattoo I see if she could tattoo the whole the its and in two boxes boy and girl I helped her throughout the whole process that's why you can see these little lightening lines they're supposed to be crooked because on the streets they call me Thor so I like lightening my tattoos are like lightning see that it's like melon or but this is like the storm breaker well she was tattoo and then when she was about to do the X I looked away she's at the X and she put the foam on and then we did that whole like tattoo firm reveal and then yeah so that's probably not the Warriors but that's my favorite tattoo story and um yeah you you

29 thoughts on “Craziest Client Stories #5 | Tattoo Artists Answer

  1. 12:15 as this dude with a hat is telling this crazy story come on to do it next to him look so shocked and disgusted and horrified.😂

  2. The "Flower" guy was awesome! lol! Not only because of the way he refered to it as "flower" but also for the "I don't know who was tipping who" line, lol!! So funny!

  3. Omg i laughed so hard it shook my bed, almost woke up my husband! The peeing and pulsating butthole just.. lol omg lmao 🤣 i can't
    They make cna work sounds amazing compared to tattooing

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