Cell Phone Profile w/ Evan Rachel Wood, Mike Birbiglia & Melissa Benoist

Cell Phone Profile w/ Evan Rachel Wood, Mike Birbiglia & Melissa Benoist


LET’S TAKE A LOOK AT OUR FIRST
CLUE. AND I BELIEVE IT IS A FOOD
ORDER. LET’S TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. IT IS A FOOD, WHAT IS THAT, A
POSTMATES, A FOOD ORDER FOR ONE BANANA. WHO HERE ORDERED ONE BANANA. LET’S START OVER HERE, WHAT DID
YOU NEED THIS BANANA FOR?>>
(LAUGHTER) THAT’S A REALLY GOOD QUESTION,
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO– YOU GOT TO FREEZE BANANAS
FOR LIKE SMOOTHIES AND THINGS, RIGHT? JUST THE ONE.>>James: I MEAN THAT IS THE
BIGGEST PILE OF BULL [BLEEP] I EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE. YOU ORDERED ONE BANANA AND YOU
SPENT $13. I GUESS THAT NEW C-W MONEY HAS
COME IN, HUH? IS THIS WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE? WHY WERE YOU ORDERING THIS
BANANA. WHY COULD YOU NOT GO TO THE SHOP
TO GET IT YOURSELF.>>IT WAS, YOU KNOW, I JUST
WANTED A BANANA SPLIT, JUST THE ONE.>>James: RIGHT.>>I WASN’T HAVING THE GREATEST
NIGHT.>>James: BUT YOU HAD ALL THE
OTHER CONTENTS.>>YES.>>James: YOU HAD EVERYTHING
ELSE.>>HENCE, I DIDN’T GO– I DIDN’T
WANT TO LEAVE JUST FOR THE ONE $13.>>James: JUST FOR THE ONE $13
BANANA. I’M NOT SURE I BELIEVE YOU, I
WILL TELL YOU WHY I DONE BELIEVE YOU. BECAUSE I THINK IT IS YOUR
[BLEEP] BANANA, ISN’T IT MIKE, YOU TELL THE TRUTH, TELL THE
TRUTH RIGHT NOW. YOU DIDN’T HAVE THE POTASSIUM TO
GET TO THE STORE. WHAT HAPPENED, MIERK.>>I ADMIT IT, ITS WITH MY
BANANA! I DO THE GROCERY SHOPPING IN THE
FAMILY. MY WIFE WOULD TELL YOU AS MUCH. AND I, WHAT HAPPENED WITH THIS
ONE, AND THE REASON THAT IT IS POSTMATES IS THAT I HAD GONE
GROSS RESHOPPING. I GOT HOME AND SHE SAID WHAT
ABOUT THE BANANAS, I BROUGHT HOME AVOCADO, I BROUGHT HOME
ORANGES, BREAD, MILK, AND I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. AND SO I POSTMATED JUST BANANAS
AND UNFORTUNATELY IT WAS $SP.>>James: LET’S LOOK AT CLUE
NUMBER TWO. THE SECRETARY CLUE IS A TEXT, A
TEXT THAT WAS EITHER SENT BY OR CAME IN TO THIS PHONE. IT SAYS I’VE GOT AN IDEA. AN IDEA SO SMART THAT MY HEAD
WOULD EXPLODE IF I EVEN BEGAN TO KNOW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT. WERE YOU HIGH WHEN YOU WROTE
THIS?>>I MEAN, IT IS SOMETHING THAT
I WOULD WRITE CUZ THIS– I’M PRETTY SURE THIS IS A QUOTE,
THIS IS A FAMILY GUY QUOTE, I THINK.>>James: HMMMM. SO WHAT IS THE IDEA?>>I CAN’T EVEN BEGIN TO KNOW
WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT.>>James: REALLY? WHO DID YOU SEND THIS TO?>>IN IS, THIS IS A VERY GOOD
FRIEND OF MINE.>>James: CALLED.>>IA, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A MAID
UP NAME.>>James: IA.>>YEAH, IA.>>James: IA THINK YOU MIGHT
BE LYING, THAT IS WHAT YOU THINK. BECAUSE IT IS YOUR TEXT, ISN’T
IT, MELISSA, WHAT WAS THE IDEA, TELL ME THE [BLEEP] TRUTH.>>SOMEBODY WAS HIGH AND IT WAS
MY MOM SWRZ YOUR MOM WAS HIGH.>>SHE HASN’T TAKEN EDIBLES
SINCE THE ’70S AND SHE SENT ME THIS AND THEN FORGOT WHAT THE
IDEA WAS.>>James: WHERE DID YOUR MOM
GET THE EDIBLES FROM.>>SHE WENT TO COLORADO.>>James: OH, THEN THAT’S
FINE. THEY’RE GIVING AWAY EDIBLES LIKE
YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE. SO YOUR MUM WAS HIGH, SHOULD I
TELL YOU WHAT I AM NOT SURE ABOUT WITH THIS, IS THAT YOUR
MUM WAS HIGH AND THIS TEXT WAS SENT AT 8:40 A.M. (LAUGHTER)
NOW EITHER YOUR MOM– EITHER YOUR MOM HAS GOT A SERIOUS
PROBLEM OR YOU’RE LYING CUZ IT’S MIKE’S PHONE. IT’S MIKE’S TEXT. WHAT HAPPENED, MIKE.>>MY BREAKING NEWS ON THE SHOW,
THE IDEA WAS A MUSICAL I’M WRITING THAT IS ABOUT THE BRAIN. IT IS ABOUT THE HUMAN BRAIN. AND I WAS SO EXCITED ABOUT IT. I WAS TEXTING MY WIFE AND SAYING
IT IS SO EXCITING THAT MY HEAD WOULD EXPLODE IF I EVEN KNEW
WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT. BUT DON’T MENTION IT TO NIBBLES.>>James: OUR NEXT CLUE IS A
SONG, THE SONG IS TRUTH HURTS PERFORMED BY LIZZO, AND ST THE
KARAOKE VERSION. OF THIS SONG. WHY DID YOU NEED THE KARAOKE
VERSION OF TRUTH HURTS BY LIZZO?>>YOU KNOW, IF YOU– I LIKE TO
WRITE MY OWN RAP SONGS.>>James: OKAY, RIGHT.>>SO IF YOU GET A KARAOKE
VERSION THEN YOU CAN JUST SING YOUR OWN LYRICS OVER IT, RIGHT.>>James: WHAT WERE SOME OF
THOSE LYRICS?>>THEY WERE WESTWORLD 3 LYRICS
SO I CAN’T ACTUALLY SAY THEM BECAUSE I WILL GIVE AWAY THE
SEASON. SO THERE YOU GO.>>James: THAT WAS SMART. REMIND ME, HOW DOES TRUTH HURTS
BY LIZZO GO AGAIN?>>I JUST TOOK A DNA TEST, TURNS
OUT I’M 100 PERCENT THAT BITCH EVEN WHEN I’M– YEAH I GOT BOY
PROBLEMS AND THE HUMAN IN ME. ♪ SO YOU WERE DOING THIS TO
PERFORM FOR OTHER PEOPLE, IS THAT RIGHT?>>FOR MY DOG.>>James: AND WHAT IS YOUR
DOG’S NAME.>>FARLEY.>>James: FARLEY, WHAND DOES
FARLEY THINK OF YOUR CARE KARAOKE VERSION OF YOUR VERSION.>>SHE IS 100 PERCENT THAT
BITCH, LIT REALLILY, SHE LOVES T SHE LOVES IT.>>James: MIKE, BIG LIZZO FAN?>>MEDIUM.>>James: UH-HUH.>>YEAH, MEDIUM.>>James: WHY DID YOU HAVE THE
KARAOKE TRACK FOR TRUTH HURTS.>>I WAS ON THE SUBWAY AND THERE
WERE SOME DANCERS. AND THEIR BOOMBOX WASN’T WORKING
SO I TOOK OUT MY PHONE AND I WENT ON THIS– THIS THING THAT
HAS THIS SONG.>>James: AND YOU THOUGHT THE
BEST THING TO DO WOULD BE TO GO TO THE KARAOKE VERSION OF THAT
SONG.>>YEAH, BECAUSE THEY WERE
DANCERS, JAMES, THEY WERE DANCERS.>>James: WELL, DANCERS DON’T
DANCE TO LYRICS.>>THAT’S RIGHT, JAMES AND IF
YOU KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT DANCING, YOU WITH WOULD KNOW THAT
SOMETIMES DANCERS NEED TO THE KARAOKE VERSION SO THAT THEY CAN
FILL IN A FEW DAMN WORDS TO GIVE IT SOME SPICE.>>THEY WERE DOING A SUBWAY
THEMED VERSION OF LIZZO’S TRUTH HURTS.>>James: OR OH WERE THEY.>>SOMETHING LIKE DO DO DO,
SUBWAY, SUBWAY.>>James: ALL RIGHT, DOO DOO
DO SUBWAYS, SUBWAYS. LET’S RECAP, WE HAVE A FOOD
ORDER FOR A BANANA. WE HAVE A TEXT ABOUT A
MIND-BELOWING IDEA AND WE HAVE THE KARAOKE VERSION OF TRUTH
HURTS BY LIZZO. I HAVE DECIDED AND I SHALL NOW
MAKE MY GUESS I THINK THE OWNER OF THIS CELL PHONE IS
MELISSA. OF THIS CELL PHONE IS
MELISSA. WILL THE OWNER OF THE CELL PHONE
PLEASE STEP FORWARD. NO WAY! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
(LAUGHTER).>>James: THAT WAS CELL PHONE
PROFILE, WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

100 thoughts on “Cell Phone Profile w/ Evan Rachel Wood, Mike Birbiglia & Melissa Benoist

  1. Uff the bell waked me up its 7:11 am in Germany i hope i dont come to late haha oder frau zimmermann lรคsst mich nachsitzen ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  2. I legit thought it was Melissa too. Very good acting! Evan was just playing stupid, and I knew I should've caught on to it!

  3. Girl in the red suit is from the Midwest. She said, โ€˜furrโ€™ instead of โ€˜forโ€™.
    I can say this because Iโ€™m from the Midwest and trying to break my accent.

  4. Felt surreal watching this phone-related bit just hours after Melissa posted about her domestic violence where her ex threw a phone in her face, injuring her and giving her permanent loss of vision.

    Watch her IGTV and help spread the word in order to help other victims of domestic violence!

  5. James. The format's simple enough: (1) read clue, (2) ask celebs to explain it (as though it's theirs), (3) Repeat as needed, (4) guess.
    There's no need to walk around like a jerk. Let the concept breathe.

  6. Its not Rachel, its Dolores from Westworld trying take over Hollywood.

    That laugh from the start should've given it away.

    $12 for a banana. Wtf?

    Melissa is such a sweetheart.

  7. Evan Rachel Wood was so awkward that I knew it was her lol. She's a fantastic actor. Melissa lost it at clue 2 and Mike was too obvious, and the last clue gave it away that it wasn't him. Evan's friend's weird name Aiya reminded me of when Chris Hemsworth did the same game and he mentioned his friend Zoko the body pro, knew it was her phone then.

  8. Wonder if Melissa and Evan used this opportunity to talk to each other about their experiences with domestic/partner abuse. Hope so. Can't have enough support when you go through something like this. Brave of them both to speak out. A very important issue. Hope everyone will, eventually.

  9. Melissa looks so happy here it makes my heart melt. After her video saying the abuse and domestic violence she suffered in her past relationship, it's good seeing her with this happiness and talking about Chris ๐Ÿคงโ™ฅ๏ธ

  10. What the heck, how are Evan and Melissa so gorgeous? And their laughs ๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธ.

    Also, I didnโ€™t know I needed Melissa rapping Lizzo, that was so precious. ๐Ÿ˜‚

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