Carson Beker, 2017 Lambda Literary Fellow

Carson Beker, 2017 Lambda Literary Fellow



[Applause] so this is a story that refers to the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice and indeed you enjoy it better if I remind you he's forgotten so Orpheus was a musician and artist and he fell madly in love with her ear to see and they had such love that the mountains were like there was so much love and you're ready to see step to the snake and started wasting away and she died and or yes that connection would be guarded so he was actually able to go down into hell to go get to the Hades to go get to your idiocy but as it turns out you can't always bring your this is called John Roach but my therapist says you're a wreck it's not helpful what kind of wreck flotsam jetsam Durland all of these have specific Nardo beatings and different consequences Salvage law when someone takes you home is gonna matter what I am you're a metaphorical wreck she says your wreck is a symbolic standing for something hard to describe but more important than you know laws apply no one is taking you home I said fine she says hourly rates apply several therapists my fantasy she's smart she's mean and nothing I tell her I have me committed remain out of window that's always a rainy Sunday afternoon in Paris and talk about how we can't feel anything it's obvious to both of us that we do that we're swallowing e to the cigarette smoke on purpose my reach for her but she's turning into Aubrey Hepburn all you have burned again and I hate it when she does that I have a drawer of the gloves I peeled off of her I've spent a century peeling gloves off my therapist slowly and she's no closer to naked then we started my real therapist pulls down her dress for the tenth time this hour what are you afraid of she asks behind her I watched my grandmother shoot herself with a second two with her second-best gun again and lead into the carnage again out the window I watched my stupid brother ride his Harley off the mountain on purpose over and over and over and over and me and I'm afraid that I love the light too much that if and when the time comes I won't be able to follow you to help for I bet you Orpheus and Euridice fought all the time they fought into it enos temple and unopposed temple they fought up an iron and and their own clothes and then these switch clothes Ilya each other from a different point of view after she died and went to health they still thought he'd lift up rocks and yelled down I don't miss you you know in that same way that we call to one another we text me if you need me will you promise must do anything but you call me the thoughts and facts and thoughts come back no bitch don't come here study new therapist coward you're British see yells back like all of us and she laid her golden boobs out in the gray shore and scanned the horizon hoping there was one time you text her I didn't text back three yesterday I went to Ikea and I bought a unit is a no bottom boat for drowning in without cables that just goes down now make that a boat my friends fight over the book instructions the house to be a screw missing that's not supposed to look it doesn't matter I say it's a float they don't help me to make my float to water but the thing about drown things is that they tend to come up over and over and over again so let's bring it up to this is what I know if he's you and I are standing under a neon bowling alley sky straight strikes them rising and you're screaming at the gods take your way to let you go and I say nothing because I love the light too much try again and I say off I can't carry Triton and I say it's okay I got my float I'm coming to get you let's get out of here you say but you're a wreck – and I say so start bailing one when the ice caps melt we will all be a sea trust the wrecks that came for you lunch this is a prayer for we who go down to the sea in wrecks who raised the terror sails and always have to bail you can be captain and I can be mate and we'll hold fast to storms over and over again as long as it takes and we'll get mermaid tattoos and see things no one has ever seen before and in our job boats we will be pirates in our Rex you'll be worthy of this

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *