Behaviour Management Techniques for Challenging Behavior in Tutoring

Behaviour Management Techniques for Challenging Behavior in Tutoring

as today whether you're watching this on replay or you're watching this live today's gonna be great because we're gonna be talking about some of the different kinds of behavior problems that can occur because of you know doing the the tutoring online now these behaviors usually aren't existence already they're not something that it's because of the online tutoring that these baby behaviors are coming on up but it's because kids are kids right and so how do you deal with those different things that come on up that kids kind of deal with and teachers and tutors need to deal with well keep watching because that's exactly we're talking about today now if you guys like this kind of content make sure that you are going to subscribe hit that Bell and so that you can be notified when new videos like those come on out and also hit that like it helps it helps to be able to keep creating great content just like this so I've invited today an amazing math ADHD – so she specifically works with kids with ADHD her name is Sonya teach and and her last name is on accident like she didn't do that on purpose she actually just got married and her last name used to be Sonya George she's now changed it to Sonya teach because she just got married and she has a new last name yeah she was like meant to be a perfect teacher right how could you not be like a tutor without that name I think that's just so amazing so awesome oh sorry that the kid things that kids also deal with are things like learned helplessness and I have actually people asking me what is learned helplessness learned helplessness is actually something that kids learn when adults in their life are doing too much for them and so they developed this thought well if I if somebody else can do it I'm just going to let them do it right I get this all the time with dyslexic students because a lot of times people want to tell the kid the word and so why bother even trying because people are just gonna tell them the word until they don't even try a strategy to try to figure it out because people are always right there ready to tell them and they don't have to take the time they're just gonna sit there and wait until somebody throws the word at them Sonia do you ever have to deal with learned helplessness with any of the math students that you work with um yeah absolutely it's well I don't see it as much in the one-to-one setting but I know when I was in the classroom especially if other teachers had been reinforcing that or there'd be like oh I don't get it and then some other teacher would come in and help them I think in the in the why don't one setting it's a little bit easier because I sort of like set the precedent of how things are gonna run and I start off with this kind of like starting them off with like smaller successes introducing them to math that it's pretty easy maybe even like too easy for them just for them to experience that success so that they don't fall into that sort of like learned helplessness behavior during tutoring yeah that's that's a that's a great strategy and and I always get them to like choose what strategy are they going to use to figure it out right you've got you've got three choices here cuz we've talked about three I'll you know I'm just cancer on that out there you can you can sound it out you can break it up in using spot and dot or you can use the context to figure it out which which trick which tool are you gonna use right now to be able to figure it out and they look at me and they're like you're not gonna tell it to me used to it when when they realize that oh she's actually gonna make me do it and it's like yeah all right so yeah we run into it all the time and it really it just comes down to giving them choices of when they get to that situation what kinds of choices can they choose and sometimes they just need it laid out to them or you can even ask them so what strategies do you remember how to use which one are you going to use now and getting them to do the work right I think that definitely helps with being able to take care of that yeah I think sometimes students my students don't even realize when they go to solve a problem that they're actually using some sort of strategy and so that's something that I did with one of my I would call I'd be like oh you're the you know she struggled with math but I would tell her like oh you're the strategy Queen like every time you know you come across a problem she might not necessarily end up with the exact right answer but I she was thinking about it and trying to find an approach to go ahead and solve it so she had that determination and she was using the tools that she had learned here at school or from me to try and figure it out so that's definitely powerful it's just like verbalizing to them like you know they have these like mindsets about themselves based on what they believe about themselves or what other people have communicated and then I come in and I'm like oh wow you are so great at doing ABC and they're they don't they're not even aware that they were doing such and such thing right this whole time right oh yeah and it's so good to be able to point out those things that they are doing right because they so often will take like that one negative thing and then we play it inside of their mind over and over and over just like we do as a dull red over and over again oh okay that must mean I'm not good enough or I I can't do this and they with that learned helplessness then comes that like I'm not competent feeling to do it on my own and and and with math I often hear people talking about like building math confidence in their kids yeah you feel that you have to do that with your students as well I absolutely feel that way because I think that especially the kids that are in middle school they've gone through your in your school feeling like you said like that learned helplessness feel that's as a failure and they've gotten to a point where that's like what why even try so it honestly takes probably you know the first several months before we really can dig into the material because some of these kids have these you know like mindsets that they're they have to come back and it's it kind it almost feels like I explained it to my husband like there's like this you know is like something I can't remember the words I use but like there's like this like fog or something and I have to kind of like clear that up for them so that they're in a mentality where they can start learning math that they're they don't already know exactly exactly now we have some people that are joining us as well so hey let us know in the in the comments and the chat have you ever run across people kids that have this learned helplessness where people are kind of doing things for them so often that they stop taking responsibility of taking action and doing what they need to do so that other people will do it you know it it can be quite um just enabling I don't know if that's necessarily the word that I want but you know it does the opposite of what we want it to obviously do we think we're helping and I see kids do this all the time when they're trying to help another kid they just give them the answer and they're like well if I already have the answer well then I might as well just go to that kid all the time they're just gonna give it to me so you know I'm gonna do that's gonna be my strategy right strategy that we want to take into consideration here now I know that you you've got the wonderful opportunity to work with kids with with ADHD how did you choose like specifically ADHD kids to to work with in math um so my my degree is just a general special education degree but when I started the online tutoring I noticed that a lot of parents locally were having challenges finding support for a child with ADHD and I knew that was something that I could provide help for so it was it was kind of a way for me to specialize and narrow down my niche and basically find that meeting point between what I have expertise in and where the needs are of you know parents so finding that central point and that was the ADHD math component yeah that's awesome and you bring up something so important here and that is that we do need to figure out a specific niche or niche it's it's pronounced both ways everybody out there you feel most confident saying go for it so whatever whatever I'm an issue you end up you know coming up with you want to come up with something so often I hear tutors saying oh I want to tutor everything well they think they're gonna get more clients that way but what really happens in the end is when they do marketing and when they're there doing things online they have no audience to talk to you so this gives you that that ability to have that audience and because of that you've actually created a Facebook group specifically for ADHD families tell us yeah yeah so um what happened was I created an Instagram account and I started posting content about ADHD and I there you know people were noticing and I found that there was this whole following of moms that were looking for you know that kind of support and guidance so I contacted a few of them and I said what do you think about me creating this Facebook community for all of you and they liked the idea I created it and it just it it grew so quickly it was just amazing because it just showed how much of a need there was for that kind of service so right now we're actually it's totally it's like secret is that the secret because it went to it came to a point where so many members were coming in at once and I it was hard for me to manage like this the size of it so I was like I'm just gonna keep you know keep it closed right now and make sure that I'm you know serving the moms to the best of my ability that are already within the community and it's just really incredible because it's it's sort of the same thing that I see with the kids like they the moms the parents can get really discouraged about what's going on with their kids so again like helping them to see like you know that mom guilt that experience that they experience or whatever helping them to see like no you are working so hard the fact that you're even in this group or that you sought out this group shows how much you care about your child you know and it can be so frustrating as a parent like your a lot of times we do we we take it upon ourselves to like almost like beat ourselves up if our kid is behaving a certain way or we're showing different the behaviors or constantly getting phone calls from to school or you know we feel like oh my gosh you must be doing a horrible job as a parent but it is important to know as a parent it has nothing to do with you okay this is just something that's going on for the child so with the online tutoring with these kids what are some things that you do to to help them with the ADHD specifically sure um so there's there's like there's different types of ADHD and I I see both in my clientele and also there are children that you know don't have an actual diagnosis but they see that the services I provided they contact me but so some of the students have that hyperactivity component we're sitting in a chair and just working on math for an hour is not very much possible others have you know some executive functioning deficits where they might have some math skills but they struggle with attention and focus or getting organized so the hyperactivity is probably you know the most visible thing that I deal with and can be the most challenging and so I don't discourage them from you know if they have to get up I have a new student I started with a couple months ago or a couple weeks ago and he you know every few minutes he will get up and walk around the room or grab something and he doesn't necessarily know how to communicate that to me or he's not aware that what he's doing is regulating his energy levels but I I'm able to identify that you know he's not being defiant he's not doing this because he's not following my directions he's his body is signaling to him that you know I have all this energy I needed go do something to to let it out and I totally encourage that I break up the session so that it is able to accommodate his needs yeah chipper do shorter sessions for your students to help accommodate that oh yeah absolutely I didn't I didn't mention that so initially when I started I had you know the hour-long sessions and that turned out to be way too much so for the particular student who has liked the more extreme hyperactivity we do 30-minute sessions and it's broken down it's like okay we'll work on a couple problems for five minutes and even with that it's like I present one single problem at a time I don't show him you know it's not like oh we're gonna look at these three problems because it's that's triggered his math anxiety yeah so it's like okay we're gonna do five minutes and we're gonna do one problem at a time and now you finished it so you got to take a break in draw a picture on bit paper or you know whatever showed me something show me your slide because he likes to make slime and he's always like holding it so yeah I do right now it's I started doing 30 minute and 45 minute sessions and that has worked much better yeah yeah absolutely I find that too and you know people always ask me the question of well how you know how long are your sessions and I let them know like I mean usually like first grade and below they're gonna be a 30-minute session just because their attention spans but then second grade on up my ADHD kids that's really what comes in to you know play like if you have ADHD you know 30-minute sessions is usually good enough I will do two of those during the week instead of just like an hour long session and that ray-ray oh you mentioned something really interesting is that it's not just ADHD that you're dealing with you're also dealing with executive functioning staying organized their math anxiety I get kids with dyslexia that often also have the ADHD it's very common to have both of those in place right so ADHD is like almost like an addition of something else what do you what do you say to parents that are are struggling with multiple things not just the ADHD but all the other things that are kind of come with it um it's it can be very challenging and I think that part of what I like to be doing is I notice as soon as I start working with the kids it's kind of like a burden off of their shoulders what it's like you know what yeah I don't in the beginning I wanted to educate them and be like this is what's going on with your child this is executive functioning these are the deficits she has and you know I noticed I I came to realize like they have so much going on in their lives I work with a lot of you know full-time working moms you know busy parents that they've done so much for their child that they they are at a point where they just need someone to like like I just need to give this test to some what else to do and so in that way I kind of take on that role for them help sort out through a lot of the math anxiety and issues that their kids are dealing with and give those kids the tools they need and then you know at the end of the session I'll be like you know talking about a planner or something a kid's mom comes in he's like oh he need to get a planner for school all right we'll go to the store buy ours today so it's like I kind of sort through what exactly the issues are identify them and then make it into a checklist of like alright here are the action steps you need to take and that's what's gonna move this child forward so it's not like I'm overwhelming them with all this information about what's going on in their child's brain or whatever it might be but just keeping it simple yeah that's so key oh my gosh you're such a lifesaver Sonya it is so many people out there these kids these parents it's just it's absolutely phenomenal because that's exactly what they need they just need like a simple checklist like tell me what to do and I'll do right right now they don't want to take action they want to take action they've already probably taken so much action there's watch action they should be taking and so to have somebody like direct them into that really really helps so with the with your ADHD students that are struggling with the organization what are some things that you you do with them during the tutoring session well this was actually a challenge for me because you know at the middle school level there's so much less assistance from teachers that I honestly didn't know what I was kind of stuck like how am I gonna help these kids with the organization piece so that's actually why I made this whole youtube series with one of my students that is excellent an organization and she excels in that area and I did like I with her mom's permission we just did like a wee base we use one of our sessions where I just she talked all about her organizational strategies and I used all that information and I'm able to give those kind that kind of guidance to other students that need help so whether it be you know like just how to set up a planner because you might get a planner from school but kids don't actually know how to use it like she would tell me that she would arrive to class every class early instead of talking in the hallway she would get to class and write down her assignments um in her planner every day every class because she you know she realized that otherwise she wouldn't have time to do it at the end of the class period so those are like the kind of tips those are those little details that I don't necessarily remember because that you know I'm not I don't remember what it's like to be in that position but having her break it down from the perspective of a middle schooler has helped me you know give all their students those strategies as well yeah it's so cool how we can actually learn from our students it is right absolutely I had this one little guy who was teaching me a reading strategy called peeling off and as soon as he did exactly what he was doing and I was like that's so cool I'm gonna call it that forever and ever amen I am another student yesterday he was doing um he goes it's either a clunk or click and I knew exactly what he was talking about oh my god well kids you don't get it click it as you get it he's like good like clunk or click so it's like you you just kind of like him explain it to them be like hey so is this a clunk or is this a click are you getting there you're not getting there right I love that they're like things that you learn under students you know and it's really a lot of fun so um so I know you had talked about like color coding um like in one of your videos tell us about the color coding and how you can use color coding with Organization for your ADHD students yeah absolutely so I'm just gonna go off like what my student basically taught me and I and what I noticed about when she does the color coding and is it's not necessarily the way we might think of it with like Oh Green represents this and red represents this for her it's kind of like a way to focus her attention on import information so if she has an assignment she will and I and I had to cut this piece off because I had her name in it and I couldn't figure out how to blur it out but if she has an assignment do she will be like okay I'm gonna highlight the due date I'm gonna highlight that specific date I'm gonna highlight the keywords in these questions because otherwise I'm not gonna know exactly what they're asking because sometimes it's wordy and I don't know what to focus on I'm gonna highlight you know the websites that I need to access in order to get this information so she just will pinpoint those different things and she might do them in different colors not necessarily because it has like a specific system to it but just because it like helps direct her attention to different pieces of information that are important here that is really great strategy and and encourage just these are the things that I need to pay attention to and real Raabe sheet right is that absolutely if how to pay attention so you had mentioned before that sometimes like you let your kids just like get up and walk and I've done that too you know sometimes they're you know you know it's it's for us when we're working with the kids one on one we're able to tell is this a movement they need to be making because of Brady or is this something that now has turned into a distractor you help them determine that um we haven't had that's probably something that I haven't really discussed with them really I don't necessarily because when I do ask them hey do you need to get up and move or do you need anything usually they'll say no so unless I explicitly communicate with them like oh if you notice when you're doing the homework or you're doing a test that you just feel like you want to start guessing on the problem because you can't focus anymore then that's an indication that you need to get up and take a break and when I give them breaks for it for the kids that happy in a a piece but not the hyperactivity when I I actually have to tell them like okay I want you to take a break and when I say take a break I don't mean just stay where you are and look at your phone I mean you need to get up go get some water do something like that because that's gonna get your blood flowing and help you to refocus because I could tell that you know you're starting to get distracted because they'll they'll literally tell me like yeah I'm just I got bored so I just made up I just guess yeah that's what I tell my kids I'm sorry I really like you a lot yes sir personally but you're not very good at guessing I don't look at it for like a pleading point like please yeah I guess that's actually hard because with the children that are hyperactive generally they and I've seen this in the classroom too like when I taught in Milwaukee Public Schools I mean now looking back that I realized this is happening it's like they would get up which they weren't supposed to but they would get up and one kid would go and sharpen his pencil every ten minutes and dry the teacher crazy but um he wasn't doing that to be anointing he was doing that because his body was signaling to him that he needs that movement but with the kids with the you know the inattentive piece they're not always aware of what's happening um so they need to have those like self-awareness tools to let them know like hey did you know that if you get up periodically and stretch and get water that that's actually gonna improve your ability to focus and get a better score um they don't they don't necessarily make that connection right away yeah yeah it helps even um it helps adults as well I mean right yes with ADHD so right now if you are sitting down watching this take a stand on up with us we're gonna just stand on up here that's great that's great that's me don't know Sonia is what five or six months pregnant down I think twenty four weeks so like six months today oh my gosh like on your last trimester and it's so cool so exciting oh that's great this is the point where you start to get bigger and like you don't feel as sick as often right you just feel bigger and uncomfortable like it's not too bad of a it's not it's not too bad about that like another ten weeks to go for you're like oh man right my friend was telling me she's like you're in the window of calm right now behavior maybe kick and all that fun yeah on stage of being pregnant yeah it was happening during our meeting yesterday I told my husband about it later I was like I feel like I just I want to tell them like you know the baby's been kicking this entire meeting and it's just weird that it's happening and I'm just participating in this meeting you can just sit there with your hands like on your belly you're right this is such a great job to you guys like if you are like a young mom or you're pregnant or I mean that this is such an amazing job because you have the ability to really be flexible with you know with your personal needs your your kids and all of that I started when mine my youngest was only three years old when I decided to leave the school system for good and and I've I've absolutely enjoyed this journey a hundred percent of the time it's been absolutely incredible and amazing and I'm so glad that I get to show other people how to do that as well alright but I want to know who's who is in our chat today because I am seeing nothing in our chat so if you are in the chat type on in there hey who you are where you're from and what you if you don't feel like telling us that then just say two to four tutors and say hello because we want to know who you are and if you have any great strategies for how to help kids with ADHD be able to perform better please put those tips in on end because we all learn from each other it's just an amazing community that we have and we're all learning and growing at the same time I'm gonna apologize for my really dark screen but I was tutoring right before this so I had to set up my other computer for it so my screen is dark because my camera on this computer does not work very well so I'm like I'm a little in the dark here because o it is today even though I have like the perfect lighting setup and all that it is what it is so uh we have been talking about different strategies for kids with with ADHD and what we can do to help them online have you noticed that kids agh now I've had a parent say this to me um she said my kid can't do online tuning because he has ADHD have you had anybody say that to you honestly no I don't I think some when I first got started as an and I was only doing it in person tutoring at that point people were skeptical because they didn't know anything about it but when I actually started the online tutoring and I had the experience myself and I could communicate better and demonstrate better how it worked then parents didn't really have a question about whether it would be effective or not especially because they were like oh this is this is so much easier so much because you guys think about like the parent for ADHD kid is like they're having to constantly be everywhere all the time lives there they're nervous that something's going to happen right if I can't see my child I don't know what's going to happen do you like to know like where their kid is and all that kind of stuff and and make sure that everything's okay and nothing blows up or it's actually great because like one of my parents will say I tutor her kid before she gets home from work so he's a and he knows they know what – they know what my expectations are they they get a text message notification because their parents I don't ask for the kids numbers but their parents will just give out my number to their kids so they get a text notification before the session so they're there on time they show up they have a certain tutoring space that they always go to and you know it's less stress for the parents less stress for them they know what to expect they don't have the anxiety of either me feeling like someone's coming over to my house and I need to have it clean or I need to drive over and take my child somewhere else it's just like oh I know that they're gonna go to that part of the room they're gonna go their bedroom they're gonna have the session and I don't have to worry about a thing so how important is routine to these kids oh it's essential to have that structure yeah and I think like I put those things in there kind of subtly where they don't even realize that it's there if that makes sense yeah I had a child um a couple months ago he got locked out of his house and he was trying to log onto the computer from his porch because he was like you know he knows like he can't miss he's not supposed to miss sessions he takes it really seriously and his mom ended up calling me and he she was like oh yeah my son's logged out of the house he's trying to log into Wi-Fi by the on the porch I was like that's okay that's a good enough reason you know to get but they're they're dedicated they take it really seriously yeah and that's really important to write like that routine like this is what women do and then you know having a client that's gonna be surf now you just started working with a client in Thailand yes it's been amazing I in the middle and in the beginning I was nervous about it because I'd never tutored a child abroad so I didn't know in terms of the time difference so it's gonna be it it's gonna end up being a 12 hour time difference when the time changes here at Indiana but it works great because the in terms of like payment collection square charges me the same processing fees whether it's international or domestic it doesn't make any difference it I didn't really have to make any sort of adjustments really they you know they just it's it's it's so it's it's it's I I know there's a phrase for it but it's like location is basically irrelevant it doesn't really matter cuz you're online you know and it's just so incredible to think you know this person's in another part of the world and I'm still able to serve their child yeah through tutoring online I know you were so excited when they found you yeah somebody from Thailand oh yeah I'm like tutoring is that is there's there's we have access now to the whole world and places that you would never even think of right right yeah it was really incredible I had a kid from Japan and Australia and China and Canada and I'm so many like amazing places it's been absolutely incredible and it's like holy cow like oh yeah and my I've always wanted to visit so here I am still here my computer is half shut down uh-oh you okay we are now in a different computer all right we still got Sonya here yeah I'm gonna turn on my camera there we go so what happened is because I was using my other computer it completely died so I'm glad that you guys still hung on in with us and now I'm trying to get my camera on this computer to work whoo we're back hey I'm leaving us oh and I got took my head yeah can you hear me at all yes now I can hear you yes oh good thank goodness woof you guys stuck in there with me you guys are awesome thank you nobody laughed from that like big click and the funny the funniest thing you guys so I before was thinkin oh my gosh this is weird like nobody is commenting nobody's doing anything and then all of a sudden I I realized oh I mean the wrong button on my computer so that's why I wasn't able to see like anybody's letting chat well that's really weird I've never had that happened before so that was very interesting so we've got we've got some awesome people here and and oh this is such a good question so shade would like to know what do you do when a kid procrastinates oh let me come back to here or what happened all right can you hear me yes oh okay cool so what do you do when I get kicked out again oh my gosh yeah so Shane would like to know what do you do when a kid is like procrastinating versus it being more like the ADHD um I'm trying to think of what I would do I mean I think that sometimes they procrastinate because there's like an underlying reason where a lot of times they just don't know how to do the assignment I mean I'm coming from the perspective of somebody that you know works with kids that struggle so if a child doesn't know how to read and they're responsible for reading you know three chapters of a book a night then they're not gonna want to do that they're gonna try and put it off because they don't know how I so that is so going to the coming to the root of the problem is really essential when we see any sort of challenging behaviors whether it be procrastination whether it be you know they're talking during class whatever it may be there's usually an underlying function to that behavior and when you can identify that you can help resolve the problem yeah got it got it and then I see Linda is in the house too so which is very cool so Linda um if you go to your messenger there's a link and you'll be able to join us right on inside of this room so that you can join us sorry for the for the craziness that we got going on today um we've got Rebecca says that she treaters um AP chem at chem and eight and P I'm not sure what a MP is she said she has a student with ADHD in class to do some of the things that you mention here and she's picking up some tips so honest I'm glad that you can be here Rebecca and being able to learn some some new stuff some new strategies so no it's just a new way to think about things it's just absolutely incredible the things that we can all learn from each other when it comes to – all of this and oh I I just saw that shade actually had a follow-up text to her procrastination message she said exampled not doing a homework on time not showing I don't know if you already read this so sorry what Nocturne homework on time not showing up for sessions on time so the way that I managed the not showing up for sessions on time is I actually have a cutie scheduling and I do have one of the more upgraded plans where I have a text notification feature and I know some other scheduling absolute this as well a lot of times it's just that they forget and they have so much going on it's hard to stay organized so when they see a text on their phone they are all about checking their phone all the time like they have their phones on them that's gonna be there they have a cell phone there may be middle school and up and when they see that text it's that's just the reminder they need I send them a text an hour before the session and that helps them make sure they're there on time not doing a homework on time a lot of the things that my students do at least in the middle school is they a lot of times I have a study hall so they know that if they put it off till they get home they'll prefer get so they intentionally use their study hall time to complete their assignments and have it done and turned in and not have to worry about it for later that's great oh that's fantastic and so if if they they're in that situation then that's a really great time to be able to say hey by the way Wow look at that by the way let's take a look at your your schedule during the day and when can you get it done right absolutely and just like what we're talking about before is having that structure that put a predictable schedule so I don't I don't know if she's saying this from the perspective of a tutor or a parent but in the case of a parent having that time you know after school you this is what we always do you have a snack and then you're gonna do homework from 4:00 to 5:00 p.m. or something and it once they get in that routine that could help any child just to make sure this is the expectation this is what we do and it kind of helps to have that structure to make sure they get their assignments done yeah yeah absolutely that structure is going to be absolutely pivotal and what is the youngest age student that you've worked with um the young student i tutor online was a third grader the English student I've tutored in person I think he started in second grade okay and have you at me in the classroom we deal with tons of like behavior issues all of the time do you do you have you had to deal with like any specific behavior issues that weren't necessarily like ADHD behavior issues but more just other kinds of behavior issues yeah I think in the classroom setting I approached it a little bit differently in terms of behavior management and a lot of that was again like having a structured schedule with teaching so the kids know exactly what to expect what the procedures are every day in class and they're not like you know because if they don't have a set activity that they're doing that could lead to challenging behavior and also making sure that the activities are meaningful because I noticed that kids tend to act out more if they know when they're they're getting busy work you know is they you know they're aware if the teacher is just like okay work on this worksheet I'm you know for whatever reason they they have that full awareness of like oh we're not doing anything important and then that will then they'll yell that's when you're gonna see the behaviors where they're talking or they want to go to the bathroom every five minutes or whatever so if you know having those activities where it's more hands-on and more engaging for the kids helps I know it's not easy to always do that but you know having hands-on activities that also have rules of okay we're gonna do this activity here my expectations to make sure that nobody you know gets hurt or gets too loud um but giving them those opportunities to get up out of their seat and do things because it can be hard for any child to be you know sitting in school listening to a teacher for whatever 7 hours a day or something great yeah just just recognizing that you know that's difficult and that's challenging yeah absolutely I mean can you imagine having to I can't even imagine doing it right now like sitting in a classroom for 7 hours a day yeah someone talk at me bah bah blah blah blah break absolutely get so bored right and especially Gammage be engaged in and across and I think that's the most beautiful part about the online tutoring is they are always doing something right right absolutely I feel like if I'm working harder than the child is I'm not doing my job mm-hmm because they need to be doing the work I'm just guiding them usually I'm guiding with my coaching my words right but they're the ones that are actually involved in the process of doing the work mm-hmm and so yeah some of those behavior problems like we don't even see them online in in in the one-on-one today we yeah compared to the classroom where you're like oh my gosh like it's constantly happening all day long look yeah actually that sort of happened where I moved a student from in-person to online and recently I went to visit her at her house because I asked her mom was like can I come play see her dogs over there and it was just you know totally casual there's no structure because I'm not tutoring at that time and she was just like talking nonstop the entire time from like when we arrived there – when he left and I asked her mom and her grandma I said our issue usually this talkative and they're like yeah she just she's non-stop and it was kind of amazing because I don't see that during sessions because that I won't allow that you know there's so much structure yeah where she doesn't really I I'll catch students before they try and like veer off okay well and there's the you know the casual all right let's get back to work now right he does okay to get off tasks once in a while by absolutely that's right it's now becoming a distractor now it's time to bring their attention to that like okay it seems like this is a distractor like I always bring that up to my students like is this seem like it's on topic or does this seem like a distracting thought yeah that's a really good example I identify when it's happening because if they can't identify it how can they do anything about it right absolutely and I've had some older students that they're like fully aware it's like they don't want to do whatever math or something so they'll just try to like oh so well like you know try to engage in conversation with me and sometimes they're like very great socially and they struggle with the map so they use that as a mechanism whether it be in school or you know I've seen that I've seen students do that in the classroom as well well there you know they'll try and like make conversation with the teacher and you know get out of working that way so you have happy you know away balance between like we obviously want our students to like us because I like us they're gonna tutoring us it is important that you know we engage appropriately in conversation but at the same time get back on track and I feel like suckers like haha I'm always about like alright we're going to this activity we're into this activity and we're going to do this like I feel like there's not really a lot of time for that half the time yeah – and I find that when we even when we have you know conversations that are seemingly unrelated I gather so much information but about by learning about different parts of their life where I'll tell them like do you realize that you're using so much math and you don't even know it you know when you're doing this hobby that you have or whatever you might be doing on the side and I once I know that information not only does it help build that relationship between me and a student but I'm also able to incorporate that into our session time yeah and that likeability factor is so huge with our ADHD kid isn't it mm-hmm because they that them liking you makes them feel safe and confident and it makes it feel like it's okay to to keep moving and then therefore you don't see as many of those negative behaviors or they're trying to get attention yes I have one little guy I feel so bad for him I mean he's got he's got the short-term long-term memory issues he's got those he got dyslexia and now he's just recently started getting seizures if he doesn't eat enough or if he doesn't drink water he will have a seizure which then is like kind of like resetting his brain and kind of like setting him back in some of the thing we have learned and I'm noticing some more of his lay like ADHD tendencies like coming out and being you know I am noticing a lot more anxiety in him after having these these these things I feel like for some of it he is using the some of it he's using as like an excuse or a reason why it's I just had I had a I had an episode today so I can't do trade right or I've had that experience like well no you need to do the tutoring I don't have any other times this week and you know but at the same time it's like I want to be so like empathetic because right absolutely I mean I I have noticed a difference after he does have one of these episodes then he's reading slower again we have to like rebuild certain things that have started to be forgotten or I don't know what happens there's like this neurological thing that's going right right and I'm to like if they start noticing that and they pick up on that it's even more damaging absolutely I think yeah I had a student that had a seizures in the classroom when I was working in Milwaukee and that it was scary because they weren't the seizures that we think of when we think of seizures where it's like very obvious but it was kind of it was like I forgot the name for it but you you won't even notice it was happening yeah so you know his eyes just kind of like stuck he doesn't really move and then you know he's actually having a seizure and if you miss it it could be really dangerous for the child if it's not treated right away yeah I had I I actually treated a little girl she was in first grade and every time she learned the alphabet she completely would have it would be completely reset she wouldn't know any of the letters of the alphabet every time she had a seizure she was having a few seizures every single day and then when I started working with her she was seizure free for a very long length of time but as soon as to the assessment she had one of those seizures during our our assessment and that's why asked me I'm like I noticed her steer off I said is this was that a seizure that's right she's like yeah and I think she like kind of felt bad because she's like I thought she was like done with these and you know but this kid he's having the other kind of seizures where he's actually writhing on the floor right brady's falling and he's hitting his head on top of it like oh my gosh you poor guy we add any more like names on you that are just going to be so detrimental like so now he's using some of his labels as excuses so so what do you do for kids when they want to use like their ADHD as a reason why they can't do something I don't really experience that too much just because they're sometimes so actually a disconnect because they don't I don't know if they always know that that they have that label I don't know if that's communicated to them from their parents and I know that sometimes schools do they just kind of like don't address it the fact that they have any some sort of disability so I don't bring it up really because I don't I feel like it's not really my place to be like hey this is you know this is your diagnosis is what you have this is how it impacts you so I don't I guess I don't necessarily see them use it as an excuse because they they don't necessarily know that they have it if that makes us nervous yeah yeah no that totally makes sense I would say that some of the kids that I work with as well they don't even know that they have it and I even tell like even when it comes like to the label of dyslexia I look great snow hey like while your child most likely has this even like getting the diagnostic for it like the the diagnosis for it isn't necessarily going to solve it you're doing the solution right now by getting brighter you're getting able is going to be expensive but then also if people start using that label towards your child they're gonna see themselves as different and this is why I can't do it and therefore it creates that thought in their mind oh I can't do it because I have let SIA therefore that's what my problem is and I'll never get better and unfortunately like those thoughts can become self-fulfilling prophecies for them right and I try to I I don't address that directly in tutoring cuz like I said they don't really bring that up but through my social media presence I try to do a lot of re like changing our perspectives of the ADHD so there there are some cool things you can find online where it's like oh you know one person will look at this child and say that they're impulsive but here's another way of looking at it here's a way of looking at everything that we find as a deficit or a weakness and reframing that into a strength or a superpower as some people say that so just kind of like educating parents and teachers whoever to see that it's you know if you know it is called attention deficit disorder but I feel like that's not really it doesn't properly explain at all you know what the disorder really entails so I think that same thing I had a problem in the child say that again it makes it seem like the problem is inside of the cha I am right right actually the real problem is outside of the child mm-hmm and how they process that information yeah and it's actually not I mean it's not like attention deficit is just I feel like it's so inaccurate because it's more it's kind of like a selective attention because you know if I if you have it you can have a PhD I can't have it yeah you would have ADHD and hyper focus on a task that you really enjoy so if you really enjoy like one of my parents told me oh when my child plays minecraft it's like he's like a different different child because he is so tuned in to that activity or maybe they have a sport that they play and they can hyper focus on that but if it's an activity that doesn't have their interest it's not something they want to be doing it doesn't matter how simple it is they just I mean if they have the inattentive type of ADHD that's that's where it comes in it's not like they're not able to focus on anything which is what I think you would the name implies yeah which is totally not if they if they're interested in it then they are they are going to do it some of my kiddos I know if people have asked me like well how do you do tutoring with kids that are like aged four five six like how do you work with those kinds of kids and most of the time it goes really really well like I don't even need to do anything really different with those kids other than having a shorter session usually that that it actually makes it perfect but sometimes when I have those kiddos that are aged three and four depending on a child sometimes I will have the parent actually sit by them I feel like at that point like the parent is the one who is most interested in this child increasing a certain skill and if they don't have the behavior to be able to sit in the chair then they're gonna need their who can't the behavior as long as a parent's okay with doing that I'm not like totally cool to help them work with them so that's one of the things that I'll do with some of the younger kids the other thing is it's them in the programs I use they get to they get to create they get to create their own avatar and so they have to get to build and I'm I've seen I've seen like Ashley D mercury oh she actually will like when they've done something really good like oh you did so good I'm gonna let you choose another like thing for your avatar like show like I'm choosing a shirt or something which is kind of cool and the other thing I do is I've had to do this with some of my more severe students is I put a number on up and we came up with a number 10 and so I'll ask them before we start the session what would you like your number to be today what would you like to start off with now 10 is the best number most of them are gonna choose a 10 right they're not gonna be like I like start off with a 3 I'm like great if you're sitting down doing we're supposed to be doing 10 it is and I put a 10 on there and I let them know because I don't like to have to go back and forth on the stupid number thing I let them know that if they've done a really good job and I haven't had to touch their number they're gonna get a plus by it and that's the best score that they can get they're gonna get a 10 plus they actually really love this stupid 10 plus it's a visa out of the air one day when I had to get that one we're struggling and then if they're not doing what they're doing I'll be like oh like there's my cue like uh-oh and then I like go to the sticky note that I have on my screen and I will on the sticky note and as soon as they see the sticky note pop on up they know oh let me get back on track like I have this one little guy he's five years old and he the other day I was sharing my screen and all of a sudden he's like did I just something wrong my sticky notes up they're fine everything's fine just a little smaller you're fine you're good he's like oh okay good he was like all concerned he was gonna like lose that like ten plus possibility right actually that's a really good point um going back tracking a little bit the the child that I tutored that is extremely hyperactive his mom actually is with him during the session so in our very first consultation she was standing or she was sitting next to him and then what the best part is that she's as we move forward from week to week she moved further and further away she's still in the room but her she no longer has to kind of like be standing right next to him like now when now when this tutoring session started she's just kind of like you know doing something out doing another activity just kind of sitting there monitoring but not actively that's been what do they know yeah that's like a good side for me because I'm like okay mom is able to relax she's here doesn't make sure everything's okay cuz I obviously if the child hurts himself or something and I'm not in the room but it's you know you could see that I could see that kind of burden being lifted yeah oh cool thank you so much for taking some time to chat with us this was really cool I love being in these kinds of things with people and and being able to get ideas and solutions and and how do we handle it and and just know if you are out there and you want to be able to do tutoring online you can work with kids with ADHD as well because they actually really thrive in this environment I love being on the computer they love doing this kind of stuff and also their actions are a little less destructive online than they are when you are right there and person with them so I can ignore so much more yeah well thanks again if you guys have enjoyed this again hit like subscribe and that little bell even if you're here with us live you can hit that that like button that helps me to be able to get more content out like this to you guys so that I can help you with getting found hired and referred enjoy the rest of your day everyone bye

2 thoughts on “Behaviour Management Techniques for Challenging Behavior in Tutoring

  1. Great advice! I’m definitely sharing this with my sister-in-law. She’s currently homeschooling her son and this would be an amazing resource for her to learn from

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